Meet Mossy Crystal, From Auckland, New Zealand

Mossy Crystal wears a cotton candy crown that sits at a permanent tilt, as if they've just finished laughing at a joke nobody else understood yet. The granny glasses stay perched despite their refusal to actually read anything, mostly because they look superior when squinting through them. Their royal sash drapes across a tutu that absolutely should not work together but somehow does, which is infuriating to Jade Bean, who keeps insisting that "fashion has rules" while mining for quartz in a hoodie. Mossy refuses to acknowledge that the cotton candy aesthetic might clash with their aggressive smirk, or that anyone could possibly dress themselves better. They have genuinely strong opinions about which furniture in a room is "beneath them" and will relocate to a different chair mid-conversation if you say something mildly stupid.