Meet Pearl Riff, From Portland, OR

Pearl Riff is a bioluminescent chameleon who wears medical scrubs, a wizard hat, time traveler goggles, and grillz, which is either a cry for help or the most committed bit ever executed.

They glow in the dark but refuse to use it for anything practical, like finding their keys or reading the fine print on their medical degree, because that would be "too on the nose."

Pearl once lost a heated debate with Cosmic Flint about whether cash or foam fingers were superior currency, a rivalry that has not been resolved and probably never will be.

The cash in their hands is both a security blanket and a mild obsession, kept close at all times because banks give Pearl weird looks when they show up covered in bioluminescent residue.

Underneath the wizard hat is someone who believes that mixing professional attire with time travel accessories with literal grillz is not a personality disorder, it is a lifestyle choice.

If Pearl Riff ever tells you they have "everything under control," start counting backwards from ten.