Meet Zesty Tango, From London, UK

Zesty Tango showed up to brunch in a rose gold fur coat, lorgnette perched on their snout, feather boa draped across their shoulders, and sparklers actively fizzing in both hands, which the restaurant staff did not appreciate.

They insist this is "tasteful restraint" and that they could be doing much more with their Monday if they really wanted to.

The sparklers are non-negotiable, by the way. They've tried to explain this to everyone who suggests "maybe indoors, maybe not", but people never listen the first seventeen times.

Playful Topaz keeps suggesting they'd make a great duo at parties, which is hilarious considering the last time they were in the same room, Zesty had opinions about the trophy's placement and Playful had opinions back.

Zesty Tango does not do subtle, has never done subtle, and if you're asking why they wore a lorgnette to a pool party, you've already missed the entire point.