Meet Sparkly Honey, From Bend, OR

Sparkly Honey believes that true nobility is wearing a cheese hat with absolute conviction and no irony whatsoever. Draped in a forest-green jean jacket with a wallet chain that jingles like tiny bells of authority, this chameleon moves through the world as if every room is their personal throne room. They've been feuding with Witty Blossom ever since that incident at the video rental store where Witty's katana knocked over an entire display of VHS tapes while Sparkly was trying to check out their Blockbuster card. The 3D glasses stay on at all times, even indoors, even at night, even during arguments about whether a cheese hat is "too much" (it is not). Sparkly Honey has zero chill about defending their Blockbuster membership and will lecture strangers about the superiority of late fees as a moral framework. They are, in short, the most exhausting and committed chameleon you will ever meet.